Its all a blurrr...

I don’t remember the last couple of days… Did I do business?... Did I have some business meetings?… Did I write down the phone numbers on sheets of loose paper again?… Did I have fun?… Did I stair at my computers?… Am I starring now at my computer screens?… Am I tired right now?… Will I always be like this?... Will I one day meet a beautiful woman who will calm me down and give me the last portions of vengeance?… Did I get vengeance yet?… Do people know when I am lonely?… Will I die when I am 81?… If I died tomorrow, it would be ok, wouldn’t it?… Do people really understand me?…Does anyone really care?... Did I make lots of mistakes… I don’t think I regret anything I’ve done?… Did I fall asleep to the television again?… Did I pay my bills?... Did I fall in love again?... Do i remeber what love is anynmore?... Was it all a lie?... Am i a bad person?... Am i childish?... Did I make my dreams come true?… Did I dream of more dreams for the future?… Did I pass or fail, do I even remember what test?… Do I remember what it was like to not live here?… Was it you when I was talking to you?… Was I dreaming?... Is it going to be my birthday soon?… Isn’t it time to get tattooed again?... Aren’t I supposed to feel pain again?… I need pain right, don’t I?… Shouldn’t I punish myself like always?… Did I apologize correctly?… Did I even have to apologize?… Did I do something right?… Did my mind stand up for me or did my heart get me in trouble?… Will I always get in trouble?… Wasn’t I ok just the other month?… Was it ok I told her so many things?… Does my honesty scare people away?… Do they think the wrong things?… Will things be better one day?… Shouldn’t I get my stomach tattooed to remind me the inner power and where it all started?... Does it even matter anymore?… I think it still matters… My heart still screams for vengeance although the screams are more shallow now, I think they are… Do I live my life correctly?… Am I going to be alone forever?… Did I defend my heart wisely from past experiences?… Is everything correct?… why is everything mixed together?… When was the last time I ate?… am I behind in work?… Don’t I always bite off more then I can chew?… Aren’t I painting a mural tomorrow?… Wasn’t there a time when people knew me only for murals?… When did I stop painting so much?… When did I stop caring?… Wasn’t I going to put up pictures today?… Wasn’t I going to be decorating with someone?… Are my eyes ok?… Why do I see red veins in my eye balls?… Aren’t I seeing my x-girlfriend this week to buy a new computer?… She is doing good right?.,.. She still loves me right?… And the other x-girlfriend?... didn’t I spend the day with her?… Why am I only friends with 2 x-girlfriends?… Isn’t there something wrong with me?… Do I dream to much?… Do I use my powers for future telling, and then suffer the consequences for it?… When will my bedroom look better?… Do I really care?… Didn’t I tell myself that it would look better when someone else would help me with it?… Don’t I have to clean the stairs?… Aren’t I too lazy?… Shouldn’t I be doing laundry?… Is my mother proud of me?… Why does my stomach hurt, did I eat well today?… What did I eat yesterday?… Is my computer going to be ok?… Aren’t I working on 5 websites right now?… Am I going to be alone forever?… Will I ever have my vengeance?… Are my friends proud of me?… How many of my friends am I proud of?… Is my business ok?… Why have I been sleeping on the couch?… Doesn’t it hurt my back?… Do I even care anymore?… How long have I been writing this?…

Will the blur continue?… will I suffer one day?… Will I live shorter because I can’t sleep well?.. isn’t it ok to be obsessed with work?… I think I make my mommy proud, isn't that all that matters?…
Am I ok right now?…
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Did I do something wrong?
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Will everything continue to blurr?…
Is that ok?…
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I s this the way I deal with my emotions?… Do people who come to my site even care?… Do they know how much I appreciate it?…

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Do people understand how much love I have inside me?…
Am I suffering right now?…
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